Race Report

Yes, I use the term "race" loosely. However, the paper & the website categorized it as a race, ergo, this is a race report.

Big decisions prior to leaving the house: what to wear....hmmmm....weather report on Friday morning said clearing overnight, high of 64. Wow, excellent, t-shirt & shorts.

Friday night report: clearing by early Saturday, high of 64.

Saturday morning, 5am: Clearing by noon, high of 64. Currently: 48. Fuck. Oh and windy. Double fuck, but not in a good way. Ok, maybe by the time we leave the house it'll at least be in the 50's.

6:30am: 48, raining, windy. Sweet. Maybe I'll be the only one to show and I'll win money, but what am I going to WEAR to the awards presentation and on camera??? Ok, shorts, running pants, long sleeve race shirt, long sleeve very light pullover, gloves and bring a jacket until we get out of the car.

7am: Pick up Joy. Was that the sun? No, headlights. Fuck. OK, no sun, but we have Joy.

7:20: get out of the car...what to wear? Still with that, really? Ok, it's not really that bad. Take off the running pants & jacket. Leave the gloves & pullover. Bye, Love, yes, one more picture, great...gotta go - 10 minutes to race start and we're 5 blocks away!

Oh shit, it's cold, that is a biting little wind and now it's full on drizzling. Let's run!!!

I don't think my legs have EVER felt heavier than for the 1st 3 miles of the 1/2 marathon yesterday. Ever. Not in Jethro's Ironman at 2am, not in Ironman Arizona, not when I have actually had lead weights around my ankles. But Joy & I were troopers - we didn't mention how awful we felt for 3 miles. Even though it was raining steadily. Even though we had a significant headwind. Oh look - the 1 mile marker at 11 minutes. Damn, we're fast. We better slow down. Gawdammit - that was the 8k 1 mile marker - they started 2 blocks before the 1/2 marathon start. Ok, get back up to the pace we were at because we're right on 12 minute miles - that's perfect to start. If we feel good, we can pick it up later (yeah, right).

After 2 miles, we start mentioning how heavy our legs are. How, even though we've made a 90 degree turn to the North, we STILL have the same headwind (why is that always the way?). Wait, there's Anita & Stacey to cheer us on. Yay. And we can stop for a moment. Double Yay.

We continue up Boulevard to the 1st hill of the day. We make a command decision to walk it - after all, we're really very close to that 12 minute mile pace and we stopped to talk to A&S. We can make it up on the downhill.

I announce at the top of the first hill that the Blue Ridge Marathon is DEFINITELY out. OUT I SAY OUT!!!!

We realize that Annnn did not quite make it out to cheer us on or we missed her. Too bad, but no blame, it's a nasty day so far.

Oh crap, there's a turn I forgot about - stupid extra mile loop. YAY, Stacey & Anita - right after we decided to walk for another minute. Crap - start running to get to them. Yay. We have to run some more? Really? Dammit.

We see some friends along the way - Sharon, Ricky, Susie, Lynn - that was all good and we were running as we passed each one (OK, maybe not entirely running past Rick & Susie as it was a water STOP)...

Bryan Park Sucks. Best part about it was the apparently homeless man under the bridge cheering us on, telling us we were competitors and winners and that we were "doing" it. On the return trip, someone in our area called him the "Wise Man Under the Bridge". I don't know about all that, but it was the driest place on the course. The park course was up & down hills and I kept expecting a water STOP and there wasn't a single one in the park, nor for a mile or so afterward. And I did not see Angela who I had hoped to see there, but she's smarter than standing out in the cold wind & rain. She has earned additional respect for not being there.

OK, so onto Northside some more. This is where I have no idea of the neighborhood names or street names, but it was a very nice area. We continued to ask neighbors who were partying there if they could spare a mimosa or two. No one did and they looked askance at us. WTF - don't all racers ask for alcholic beverages? I always have. I heard somewhere that if you don't ask for what you want, you'll never get it.

running, running running...where the fuck are we?

Ah, a bunch of trigirls in a very pretty neighborhood - oh look there's Anita & Linda - so good to see her. Oh wait, there are a hundred trigirls calling my name & cheering. I tried to get them to cheer on Joy too. Then I was distracted.

I heard a little voice cry out in the night (OK, it was morning, but it was still overcast and it's poetic license for chrissakes, just chill). "CJ....do you want a shot of bourbon?" Bourbon you say? Well, it would be rude to refuse...SCREECH to a halt and take an immediate left turn to the girl with the glass. Is that a black label? Nice. OK, it was only half a shot and Cathy who handed it to me knows that this is certainly only for medicinal purposes. Smooooth. Didn't take but a second to catch up with Joy. I immediately informed her that although the Blue Ridge Marathon was OUT, the Bourbon Chase was definitely IN. Hello & goodbye to friends & loved ones and we're running some more.

Sure could use a water stop to chase the bourbon. LOOK, it's the Hash House Harriers - Drinkers with a Running Problem....serving beer. Um, it's only been about 1/2 a mile since the bourbon. Joy urgently informs me that "liquor then beer never fear", so I downed a shot or two of beer. Really important not to be rude. I'm just a social drinker. Really.

Oohhh, Drunk. For about 3 minutes. Everything is accelerated when you're racing. OK, now cotton mouth. Nice. Great - hangover. Where's the water stop....yes I was whining (preferred to be wining, but I don't think there's a rhyme for that)?!

YAY, water stop, downed my last GU and checked the watch at the 10 mile marker. We have a bunch of time to run a 5k and still finish in 2:45, Joy's secret race time goal. It's not a secret anymore, right Joy?

As we're running down Cary Street, headed for home, I can hear my ride approaching (always with the sirens). Ah, it's not my ride it's the )@&*$)@)* marathon winner. Dammit, I always used to try and finish the 1/2 before the winner finished the whole. Guess I have slowed down considerably, since this dude started 25 minutes after we did. Oh well.

Joy beat me by a bit - I just couldn't get my legs to turnover any faster and was barely able to keep my nose off the pavement. I know she wanted to finish together, but I hollered at her to beat her goal time. I was 4 seconds off. Story of my life, but a whole lot closer to the goal than 14:20.

Why does that always come up?

Here are 2 happy girls, right before they tried to walk again.